Tammy:       The myth of the Bright Path. Talk about realistically setting goals: what does that look like? What is a baby step? How do we measure ourselves against our expectations? (Some of us have BIG expectations. Ahem). What is the next step when one is freaking out over the economy, over the market changing overnight (or at least it feels like it), over people who seem to sail through it nonetheless, over $$. Especially over $$.

Molly:         Realistic goals are so important. As you say, some of us have awfully big expectations, and often those expectations don't line up terribly well with what we really care about. If they lined up better, I suspect we'd come closer to meeting those expectations.

    So let's begin by making a distinction between an expectation, which is the belief that something is likely to (or should) happen and a goal, which is more akin to a destination. These are entirely different critters.

    Expectations have a flavor of passivity. They are governed by the way things are or, at least, the way we think things should be. In the olden days (even older than we are, Tammy), folks would talk of a person's expectations, referring to his or her inheritance.

    Goals are all about action. When you have a clear cut goal, you measure your progress according to how near or far you are from the goal. Whether or not you expect to reach your goal is less important than whether or not you plan to do so.

    I think a lot of pain among Accidental Entrepreneurs comes from avoiding goals. When we don't have clear goals, we are left with mushy expectations. As I suggested earlier, those expectations often aren't ones we would choose, if we were really paying attention.

    An artist, for example, may avoid setting an income goal because she's afraid she'll fall short or even because she just doesn't know how to go about arriving at a dollar amount. Lacking a specific goal, she goes about her business all year, feeling good when money comes in and feeling bad when it doesn't. Let's say that, on the whole, she's feeling pretty satisified with herself. One day she learns that another artist earned $10,000 at a weekend art fair. This is three times as much as she's ever earned at one event, and suddenly, she judges herself to be a failure.

    So how do you set goals and get out of the expectations and comparison game?  I suggest you start with your current set point. Most of us have a dollar amount that we earn pretty reliably. It may be more than we need or less, but it's an amount that we're comfortable with. We didn't choose it exactly, yet it controls our income just as surely as a thermostat governs the temperature in your living room.

    First, realize that you know how to make this amount of money. You've already demonstrated that you can reach this goal. (It has been a goal, even if an unacknolwedged one.) Now set a new goal that is enough higher to make you breathe a bit faster but not so high as to make you faint. Write this down and let it be your new financial goal.

    When you have this new number, start thinking about all the ways you could earn this money. You could raise prices on some items. You could teach a class. You could write a book. Look at everything you do and sketch out some different ways that you could increase your income just this much.

    Then go into action. Earn this larger amount of money, then repeat the process. You'll be stretching your comfort zone without freaking yourself out. By keeping the increase modest (yet exciting) you'll be working toward a goal that is sufficiently realistic that economic ups and downs won't have much impact.

    Most of all, you'll be in action working toward a purpose you have chosen instead of reacting to shifting expectations and circumstances.

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Wow.  And this is just day one.  Action plan and all.  Hope you enjoyed this and will come back for more.  But in case you can't wait:    Free articles on meeting the challenges of self-employment

The Way of the Accidental Entrepreneur: How to Build a Business that Fits Just Right.