Artgals and I got together this past Saturday to trade supplies, eat great food, drink some wine and play with art all day. This is the result of my day (the background is the landing in my dining room that I designed, made and with Hubby’s help (it was my first time) installed. It was his first time too. Sometimes I need my hand held when I’m doing first time things.
StarDancer is a first for me in that I put down paper before I painted. The heron is a copy of one of my 24″ x 36″ acrylic on canvas pieces – I picked up that “reuse your work” think from the Strathmore class I’ve been taking. While the actual project didn’t work for me, the concepts it employed obviously did and I broke through just paint on canvas to whatever was at hand. There are layers here (finished it with oial pastel highlights), easy enough for many but something brand new (that I have been thinking about) that I had yet to free myself to do.
Did you hear that? Free myself. Let go of ideas of how it should be, let go of fear of failure (or success), respond to the materials at hand and what they want and begin.
Here is Janet Roessler’s painting that inspired me to let go and give this a try. It’s a start for me(and just goes to show you that if you rub shoulders with enough girlfriends who are also artists, you grow).
But to go or grow and even move, we must first begin.
Things that stop you from beginning and their cures:
Procrastination
At the moment I’m being a productive procrastinator. I have a should tape running in my head about going to exercise. Yes, I know it is good for me. Yes I really don’t mind it once I get out of the house. But I’d rather sit here and write. Which isn’t bad except I’ll sit here in front of the computer all day given the opportunity (okay, with a break to jewelry making and clay playing) given the chance.
Girlfriend Stacey Curnow has this covered in her latest newsletter:
Psychologist Jonathan Haidt used a great analogy to explain this in his book The Happiness Hypothesis. He says that the emotional system is like an elephant, and on its back is a human rider that represents the rational system. The rider thinks he’s the one in charge, but an average elephant weighs 6 tons, so who do you think is going to win in a fight?
If you want your rational system to win out, you’ve got to avoid a direct tug-of-war with the elephant. Your rider (what we think of as will power) thinks he’s got it in the bag. But if you want to lose weight, don’t assume that your self-control will keep you from inhaling that bowl of chocolate-covered popcorn (just to use an example from my evening).
Whatever you do, don’t believe that if you only had more willpower, you would win. That would be like believing that two humans would win against the elephant. And please don’t make your apparent lack of willpower an opportunity to be hard on yourself, or think that others have it easier.
If others do have it easier it’s probably because they developed systems for managing the elephant, for working with the elephant, for respecting the power of the elephant.
It’s impossible to stop an elephant on a dime (or stop him eating), but given enough time and foresight, he can be turned. And so, if you want to lose weight, you may want to keep bread or ice cream or Newman’s O’s (another personal favorite) out of your house. Or you may want to develop the habits that encourage exercise—like making time for a walk in your schedule, or making a date with an exercise buddy. *
Cure: Accept that you’re procrastinating and that it may have a positive message for you. Have a look at why. Have a look at what you want. Start a community or buddy system or get a coach, if necessary, to hold you acountable. Note: My internal A Student always wins the argument with my internal procrastinator.
Envy
Envy will stop you dead in your tracks. All of your energy will be sucked up focusing on why she does/has/can and you don’t/don’t have/can’t. Galfriend Ruth Davis of Spark the Heart covers this subject well:
Several weeks ago, as I was reading about a coaching program that a colleague was launching, I could feel myself falling into that space of envy. Because she and I are, in many ways, so similar, I felt a resentment that she was experiencing so much success so quickly.
For days, I was grumpy, unmotivated, feeling like I was never going to experience the same level of success that she was.
And I knew that, if I continued to stay stuck in this place of envy, I really WOULDN’T move forward in my life.
Because, by comparing myself to her, I was completely NOT respecting who I am, the pace that I do things, what MY unique path is.
But how to move out of envy? [click here to read her excellent and most useful cure.]
Fear
Of both success and failure. It doesn’t really matter which. The end result is the same. We don’t begin.
Cure: Befriend your dragons. Practice imperfection. Embrace being a baby and taking baby steps. Find a baby learning to walk and watch them fall, get up, fall, get up, fall, get up. Notice that the falling doesn’t deter them one bit. They have their eyes on the prize: Mommy or Daddy across the room, or that ball in the corner that means they have to let go of the couch. Falling? No problem – because they have no expectations. Remember that just turning over and crawling were cheered and celebrated, never mind walking (and falling, and taking someone’s hand and walking some more).
Check the story that you are telling yourself. Check the emotions that are fueling the story. What one baby step can you take toward beginning that feels better than being stuck? Remember you don’t have to walk! You can just turn over!
Can you find a cheering section? Including someone who will take your hand if need be? Begin may require forming that cheering section before you toddle off to your future. Begin can be the intention to manifest that cheering section in your life.
Begin can simply be your looking in the mirror in the morning and saying: I love you. You’re worth whatever it takes.
So, take a breath (or two or ten if need be).
Ready? Set? Begin!
[click over – there’s a whole ‘nother post on beginning in case you need “a hand!”]
Just so you know, Stacey Curnow, Ruth Davis and Molly Gordon (quoted below), as well as I, myself, offer coaching programs – so if you need a “hand-holder” here are 4 of us to choose from: ready, willing and able to help!
Wylde Women’s Wisdom
Though we may move with care through a fog bank. as accidental entrepreneurs we can rarely afford to stop altogether. …One step. And then you might pause, sensing the warm embrace of the fog….And now you see with your inner eyes that you will always be given everything you need to take one step. Molly Gordon
*Reprinted with permission from the author, Stacey Curnow. If you like this article and you want to give birth to a life you love, sign up to receiver her FRE*E eZine, Special Delivery, at http://www.staceycurnow.com/.
7 Comments
[…] just in case you need a helping hand to leap off the cliff, here is […]
[…] We don’t begin. We reason there’s a better time, we need more money, someone else can do it better. Maybe […]
Sue – sent you a picutre by return email.
Wow, I love your stuff.
I love your landing, too. Could you give us a pic of your landing? 😛
Thanks for sharing & for the inspiration! All so true!!!
Stacey – I know that the women I have linked to in this blog inspire me ALL the time!
Hey Tammy!
Thanks SO much for sharing my eZine with your readers! I’m so glad that the elephant analogy resonated with you, too.
And I love that you shared Ruth’s piece on envy and Molly’s wisdom, too.
I especially appreciate *you* – the comment you made about your artist friends, “just goes to show you that if you rub shoulders with enough girlfriends who are also artists, you grow” really struck me as true.
It can trigger negative feelings when we see others accomplish great things (in art, in life), but it’s so likely that their example is helping us stretch and grow and it’s important to honor that.
Thanks again, as always, for being such an inspiration to me!! Much love, Stacey