The question I hear most from my coaching clients is:  How will I ever do this? 

That question comes anywhere in the time line from project start, to middle, to almost at the very very end, when you’d think “how” would have been answered.  But no –  “how” is more about your own demons than actually finding a way.  It is more about the voices in your head transforming and attacking from a new and unexpected direction.

And you can find yourself mired in quicksand.  Sinking fast where just last week when things were swimming right along:  lots of water flowing, thoughts assembling themselves in an orderly fashion, the sun shining (whether or not it was), and the Universe smiling on you.

The Universe always smiles on us.

(In case you’re wondering where I get the ideas for my posts, let me assure you that I am currently staring at How. )

So let’s do a fast review of how to get free of the quicksand suck and get on about our business.

What is it exactly that you are doing?  Take a minute to review the what.  This should be pretty straight forward and factual.  For instance, “I am writing a book.”  If it isn’t that straight forward, and can’t be quickly and effectively stated, then some step was missed at the beginning of the process and it’s time to step back, regroup, and redefine.

Once you have the easy “what” defined, you’re on to where.

This one is a bit stickier, more emotional, more stories, more hopes, more fears.  More demons whispering:  “Who do you think you are?”

You do not have to answer the demons.  Getting in an argument about who and ego and comparisons with all that others are doing or not is simply a great detour.  It will take you in circles.  Unless you are writing a cute dialogue piece on demons, send them out to play in the fields with the hamsters.

Where does that leave you?  Right where you are.  You can be no place else.  Don’t compare, don’t criticize, and do NOT stop to feed the demons with your attention.  Instead be very gentle with yourself.  Take time to explore the space you find yourself in.  Draw it.  Pull out crayons and scribble it.  Sing it.  Dance it.  Move out of the mode in which you are working into another creative mode (creative is broadly defined here.  Distract yourself with something mindless or that you can do in your sleep. In my case, I find that working on my accounting focuses me on 2+2+2=6 and how manageable that is).

Wherever you are, find one thing to be grateful for.  Even if it’s a teeny tiny thing.  Beam gratefulness out to the Universe, which is still smiling on you.

Here is where you learn to make friends with yourself, and you learn to recognize the voices in all their disguises, and you can say, finally – “Oh, I know this place.  I’ve been here before.  I must be seeing it from a new vantage point.  That’s GREAT!!!! It means I’m growing!”

Now you’re ready for “why.”  Your why is your passion.  Your why is the reason you are trading minutes, hour, days, weeks of your life birthing your What.  If it is not your passion, then you will never ever get to how.  If it is not your passion, you may overcome some obstacles, but in the end, there will be one that stops you – because there is simply no reason why to continue.  Passion can get you over, under, around and through anything the demons throw at you.  You know in your heart first, in your bones and then in your head why.  In the end, why is about moving again and again through fear, it’s about walking in the dark and doubting, it’s about meeting ourselves and falling in love over and over with exactly who we are.

Pema Chodron says:  Working with obstacles is life’s journey.

Once you get your why figured out, “how”  is a given…and it no longer really matters.  The journey will unfold if we get up each time we fall because we know where we’re going, what we’re doing and why we’re doing it.  The Way will appear if we step out, even in fear and trembling.  Your friendly dragons will disperse the demons once you remember the dragons are your friends, not your foe.  Love your dragons –  without the gifts they brings from their dark lairs, you will have not help in finding the bridge to where the demons also become your friends.

See?  Easy as 2+2+2 = 6.  Once you have the twos in place, the answer can only be 6!

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

The buddha is the awakened one, and we too are the buddha.  It’s simple.  We are the buddha.  It’s not just a way of speaking.  We are the awakened one, meaning one who continually leaps, one who continually opens, one who continually goes forward.  It isn’t easy and it’s accompanies by a lot of fear, a lot of reentment, and a lot fo doubt.  That what it means to be human…  Pema Chodron