If you’ve been following along for the last few posts, you know that I am wandering out of prescribed territory and following my intuition along an uncharted path. (Okay, we all do this all the time, but I am choosing to do it not only consciously, but also to record it in case anyone else wants to see what it looks like).
I love writing and in the past have written around things that seemed to fit being inspirational – and I worked at making them congruent with some kind of business plan. Now I’m following what happens when the “plan” becomes the ideas that drop in during my daily practice, which starts with a morning teleconference manifestation with Flowing with Change Collaborative Manifestation Group. “Stuff” comes to me during morning meditation. And I find I can write myself a note but if I don’t come to this space, here, immediately, some of the energy/heat dissipates by the time I get around to writing and it comes more from my head than my heart.
I want this space to come from my heart.
I often wake around 4 or 5 a.m. and then go back to sleep. For whatever reason, dreams I have after that tend to be a bit anxious, about losing my car (yet again – and that’s pretty much the way I react in the dream: “Again?! You’ve got to be kidding me!”, or being late for a meeting – just not able to get there for a myriad of reasons: no proper clothes, no place to take a shower – you name it, up it comes).
This morning in a very long dream I came to a part where my Dad brought my kids (very young, 3 and 7 or younger) to this place where I was (a dangerous place). They were all dressed up and laughing and smiling. I need to tell you that I had a difficult relationship with my father. I rarely saw him lit up laughing like in my dream. Anyways, it felt wonderful to see them there with me and then he handed me a wad of money and said something like: “This is for your work playing. And I do mean playing.”
I took the money and put it in my pocket (right back pocket). Never in my real life did my Dad do this. He had a tight relationship with money and I found that I could not trust his words around it. Ever. But in the dream he was open and it was as natural as if it always happened.
Then my kids were noisy and I knew that was dangerous for them and I tried to stop that and started feeling anxious. Then I woke myself up.
And when I wrote this down during our morning Manifestation, I realized that I had indeed awakened myself in some sort of spiritual sense, and it felt as if somewhere the energy that is my Dad, my protector, my animus had also awakened to some kind of shift….to bright glowing laughter. (Yes that brought me to tears of gratitude for a space where this could come through – such an earthquake of an experience and acknowledgement – in total safety).
This past week I pulled up one of Brian Andreaus’s StoryPeople, Waiting for Signs: “I used to wait for a sign, she said, before I did anything. Then one night I had a dream & an angel in black tights came to me & said, you can start any time now, & then I asked is this a sign? & the angel started laughing & I woke up. Now, I think the whole world is filled with signs, but if there’s no laughter, I know they’re not for me.” [emphasis mine]
My dream is a sign! Because I can stay with the laughter – and re-awaken myself to it any time I need to. Don’t you just love that kind of powerful connection to who you are and what you’re doing?
I also acknowledge we don’t stay anywhere long, but we can bring our discoveries along with us for the next round of not knowing – just like in the video games where you collect powers: we can collect our powers from our experiences and find the place of laughter.
May laughter fill your life today!
p.s. If you’re interested in following my current journey and not missing anything, would love to have you sign up for getting my blogs via email – in the right column here.
10 Comments
I get information and guidance in dreams, too. Not always in the most pleasant way, like in your dream–but it comes trough if I keep listening. 🙂
I love your comparison to those games where they collect stuff to use from level to level–LOL! Just love that!! And that you share your journey as eloquently as you do. 🙂
Well, wow. I didn’t pick up on the balance of animus and anima in the symbols. Thank you! And yes, the soul IS wise and that part of the dream has stuck with me in such clarity I know it holds messages. Just getting a new vision of my Dad in my mind is amazing.
Ellen – has anyone ever told you how infectious your joy is? That you ARE joy?! I think we probably do have much in common and am looking forward to finding out more about our previously unknown connections – tracking those
joinings down.
Thanks for sharing your dream, Tammy. And what an important dream. So interesting your father shows up (with money!) after all the dreams about losing your car. Seems like your unconscious is reassuring you that you do have the drive, energy, momentum, resources to put yourself out there in the world, even though it’s scary and anxiety-producing. I love the balance of your animus with anima (your kids/mothering) in the dream. I think the soul is so wise.
This is aNOther great post! Sometimes I feel like you are my twin sister – just born and raised in a different time and space, so you are showing up with a wonderfully unique way of experiencing and expressing things I flow through too, giving me all the more permission to keep showing up, waking up, laughing, and revelling in whatever riches I recognize!… Amazing and glorious. Thank you SO much!
Kathryn and Betsy – thanks so much for stopping by!
Timely message!
Love it!
Hi Virginia! do you know how to do a dream expansion? Ask the eclipse what message it is sending you and then write that or draw it with your non dominant hand. Or just draw a scene from the dream and color it in. Or expand writing the dream down – every little detail you can remember. I find that the words we choose when writing down, or just the act of drawing can open things up (“awakened” was a result of writing it down this morning for me). And even though you’re talking with yourself when you’re asking questions, amazing things come through. Pick any thread that comes through to continue to ask questions and write down the responses even if they don’t make sense.
And yes, companionship is good!
Tammy,
Your route of using intuition no doubt surpasses intellectual “discoveries” and I applaud your “trail.” Methinks we all need to give ourselves permission to take more bed-time to dream, or if inclined, journeying while wide-awake.
I had an interesting dream & need to share this AM- I was asking spirit for the last week or so, ‘Is it time for me to haul my ass back to school?” So I had an answering dream last night, still figuring it out. I was driving, had called my school teacher to tell I would not be in am, but then at noon the eclipse happened- all went dark & I could not see. I ended up not going back to school but felt gulty…wondering if the guilt is a yes,get you butt back to RN training for so called $ security or whether it was to tell me these times dictate a different approach, it’s too dark to see right now? I usually do not remember dreams so this could be significant. At least my wheels were still turning. 😉
Laughter, yes! A good sign indeed. And that wad of money? For play?
Significant bit- my Mother died (and yes, we had a difficult relationship and she abhorred self-help books just as I was turning inward, away from her preferred perfections that left me feeling far from perfect). She left me enough $ to get out of working and living at a non-profit Nature Sanctuary in N.VA , with a note that I should use the 1800. to learn something for ME, not a man, not my family. I went back to massage school after the LPN training, and know it to be the best gift a body can get in times of severe stress. And we all have these…
So here we are, in a time of heart and head coming together at last. Glad you’re on the terrain, too.
Love,
VGA