The Watcher:  I am the one in the corner who sees behind closed lids, the one who counts heartbeats between breaths.  I am the one who knows who you are.

I was listening to Natalie Goldberg’s Zen Howl on audio while driving to Baltimore the other day.  I love the way she reads.  And it’s almost a two hour trek and for once, I didn’t want quiet.  So I took the IPod along.

And it’s funny, because I was thinking about my post on Dragons and the gifts they bring sometimes disguised as trials and tribulations, and along comes Natalie to tell me that Monkey Mind (my Hamster), which is always chattering at you about how “you can’t do that,” “who do you think you are,” and other lovely soul withering comments, is actually our friend.  And the funny thing is I was just thinking that using a different metaphor.

Natalie says that Monkey Mind (or hamsters or demons or whatever you call that voice in the back of your head that has a tendancy to always be there when you least need to hear it) does us a favor by:

(1) making us  focus on pushing through the block – thus proving to the one who really counts (our very own self) that “Yes I can” and “THIS is who I am” and

(2) Allowing us to enter unknown territory (because the Guardian at the Gate is always blocking the way to unknown territory – if you know the space, you’ve already been there and already disarmed the Guardian) slowly – thus protecting us from falling in over our head before we’re ready to swim in that particular flow.

So if you’re running into demons, here’s what they’re trying to help you do:

1.  Persist. You are a hero on a hero’s journey.  Your greatest gifts may dress up as demons to see if you really mean to continue.  Unmask the demons and reveal the Guardians in hiding!

2.  Treat yourself kindly.  When you are tired, rest.  When you are disillusioned, have a look at your expectations (and where they came from). When you are confused, spend some time with a friend who loves you enough to listen but not try to fix.  (Notice I didn’t say “if.”  I said “when.”  When you acknowledge things, you are prepared for them.  Acknowledge cycles in your life, because they’re going to happen).

3.  Reflect often.  Everything we do changes how and what we see.  Know who and where you are by taking time to be quiet and listen to your heart and intuition.  Don’t fill up your day with doing.  Leave some time for be-ing the human you are in all your complexities. 

4. Celebrate even the small joys preferably with one other person but at least by yourself .  Anything celebrated becomes automatically bigger, and a foundation rock to build on and spring from.  Celebrating can be lighting a birthday candle, saying “You Go, Girl” out loud, smiling big (BIG) and then blowing it out.  3 minutes.  Don’t tell me you don’t have time!

5.  Define “important.”  Know that you have all the time you need for the important things in your life.  How much time are you currently spending on the important things in your life?  Adjust accordingly.

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

I can’t imagine a kind-of, sort-of, when-it’s convenient, casually committed terrorist…our biggest problem isn’t just that a relatively few people hate with conviction; it’s that not enough of us love with conviction.   Marianne Williamson