In my High School Catholic school, 84 was a B-, 83 a C+.  92 was an A.  In my girlfriend’s public school, 90 – 100 was an A, 80 – 89 was a B.  Her C, 70 – 79, was well into my D land.  In high school, looking toward college, it is easy to believe that you are your letter grade.

George Bush raised the debt ceiling 7 times during his presidancy while cutting taxes for the wealthiest.  The country is in the midst of a crisis because Obama wanted to raise the debt ceiling once and bring taxation of the wealthy and corporations back into line.  As an ordinary citizen trying to negotiate an economic life amongst all the smoke and mirrors, it is hard to remember that all of this is politically motivated and about power, not about the good of the people.

I get at least one, and sometimes several, emails daily about a subscriber’s finding that day’s quote somehow, magically, right on the nose for what she needed to get through her day.  Every day.  Once every 3 or 4 months I get an unsubscribe, and last week I got a “I just don’t like the quotes.”  When one negative comment arrives, it is hard to remember the great comments.

What you choose to look at colors how you feel. 

In the photos above, the “detail” is entirely different from the whole.  If you only looked at the detail, you would never have a clue what the whole picture is about.

The trick is being able to see the whole picture.  Try the following sequence on for size the next time you are taking the measure of something (comparing).

1. Take a breath.  Get quiet.
2. Listen to the story that is running in your head.  Is it true?
3. Are you comparing the same thing?  What are you measuring?
4. Why are you measuring? 
5. Can you write out what you’re measuring so that you can check your story against hard facts?

Let’s use my reaction to that one unsubscribe from Wylde Women’s Wisdom as an example.

What is the story running in my head?  “She didn’t like my quotes!  True.  My quotes aren’t good.  I have no discernment.  I am crazy to believe anything I do would draw anyone in.  I’m wasting my time.”  Not true.  That should be the end of the story, but the story continues and winds up at something like:  this means I am not loveable.  Is that true?  Not based on the rejection of quotes it isn’t.

What am I measuring?  Well, it certainly isn’t my quotes against someone else’s because I don’t know who else that subscriber reads!  Do I have a way to compare?  No.

Why am I measuring?  Because I want to be loved/popular/lookedup to/followed/make some money at some point from accummulated life experiences that should be worth something!  Is there a story behind this need?  Absolutely – my ego is wounded and Ego does not like to be wounded, so it starts throwing monkey-mind/hamster voice out there to make you stop/desist/give up so there will be no more wounding.  As wounds go, is rejection by someone I don’t know over quotes  she read (and I have no way of knowing which ones) a biggie?  No.  Can I allow it to send me into a tailspin?  Yes.  Must I allow it to send me into a tailspin?  No.

Can I write it out?  Check my facts?  Column 1:  one unsubscribe who does not like my quotes.  Column 2:  8 emails this week about how much my quotes mean to each individual who wrote, how the timing was perfect- how did I do that?  One Facebook conversation with a friend who posts her Wylde Women’s Wisdom quote every day on her facebook and her friends (under one of the quotes).  NOW I’m measuring the same thing:  how many like and how many don’t like my quotes. Can I hold on to the original story after doing this?  Only if I’m determined to make myself miserable.  Yes,  I know, we all do that even in the face of facts.  Forgive yourself. Look at the facts.  Onward.

 Time to send the Ego and monkey and hamster back out to play while I get on with my work!

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

The ego is always on guard against any kind of perceived diminishment.  Automatic ego-repair mechanisms come into effect to restore the mental form of “me.”  when someone blames or criticizes me, that to the ego is a diminishment of self, and it will immediately attempt to repair its diminished sense of self through self-justification, defense, or blaming.  whether the other person is right or wrong is irrelevant to the ego.  It is much more interested in self-preservation than in the truth…All repair mechanisms make perfect sense to the ego but are actually dysfunctional…A powerful spiritual practice is consciously to allow the diminishment of ego when it happens without attempting to restore it.  Eckhart Tolle [emphasis mine]

As soon as you begin to believe in something, you can no longer see anything else.  Tammy Vitale