Blogging can ultimately be a very lonely occupation, much like talking to yourself ( that my personal conversation resonates with others just shows how connected we all are!)

So when reader Cindy Mathis Lewis (who designs and makes gorgeous cake stands for all your special events) sent along this photo she took in the French Quarter of New Orleans after reading my post on changing my word of the year to “sashay” (an attitude) from “extraordinary” (what started to feel like trying too hard), it was a treat I had to share with the rest of you.  I love my readers!  And I love their communications – since I work alone in my studios (a lot!), blogging, and social media are, in fact my community and I miss them when we don’t chat daily.

Which brings me to a recent announcement by one of my favorite bloggers, Danielle LaPorte, that she has decided to go commentless on her blog.  Then she spent another post pointing to all the others who have done the same and noted that no one sent nasty emails.  Well, since she went commentless it was hard to complain, but never being daunted by someone else’s rules (and Danielle is a follow-your-own-rules kinda gal if ever there was one!) I responded to the email that brings her blog to me.  And she responded back. (Which, in the end, worked even better than commenting!) 

I noted that I thought she protested too much and she noted that there is a difference between clarity and defensiveness and that are no “shoulds” in her studio (my argument being that if she felt the need to defend, there must be some unacknowledged “should” stories running around in her head somewhere).

Danielle is one of those biggies with thousands of followers and I guess after a while all those comments can really get overwhelming  (I wouldn’t know.  Not in my experience).  But I’m not sure bigger is always better and I’m not sure clarity that needs to continue clarifying itself isn’t defensiveness.

Which brings me to my new word of the year:  when one sashays down the street, one is in one’s power.  It’s as potent as perfume:  people know it when they feel it – it trails in the air you leave behind you.  No need to make noise ,  no reason to puff up, ignore folks because you are making a statement, or cut people off in their response.  In fact, being in your power is usually a completely in the moment experience .  It is lively engagement with all of your environment, and because of the adventure of that engagement you grow and change in ways you never would cooped up just talking to yourself at your computer.

I’ve emailed  Seth Godin on his blogs (he also has no comments).  Seth is one of the folks Danielle points out doesn’t take comments.  She quotes his saying:  “it permanently changes the way I write.  instead of writing for everyone, I find myself writing in anticipation of the commenters.”  ( Seth has never responded to my emails.)  Seth makes some great points but he is also way off in a lot of this tribe stuff he says he is trying to create (this is an area I am an expert in with 20 years of very successful on the ground experience in creating tribes – only I called it community based organizing.  I had a correspondent call me a “linchpin” before he ever thought of the word – I had to look it up to be sure it was a compliment!).  He’s working in a closed loop.  Which is probably why I read him less and less.

Just so you know,  I love every one of you who leaves a comment here (newbies note:  I respond personally to my comments, not here on the blog simply because when I’m out commenting on blogs I often don’t get back and so don’t hear from the blogger if they don’t respond directly).  I don’t like that so many bloggers as they get bigger suddenly remove the community piece from their social media.  Danielle argues  (or explains or clarifies)  that what she is doing is publishing not creating community – I think that misses the whole point of social media.  Might as well watch tv.

Why do you use social media?  What do you think about bloggers who are having a one-way conversation (i.e. giving a lecture/publishing)? 

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

but when i wake to the heat of morning
galloping down the highway of my life
something hopeful rises in me
rises and runs me out into the road
and i lob my fierce thigh high
over the rump of the day and honey
i ride i ride

(from “Hag Riding)  Lucille Clifton