The Universe sent out (as always) an interesting note for the day this past week:  Expect miracles, Tammy. Don’t attach to unimportant details. Don’t insist “how” your dreams will come true. Prepare to be amazed. Feel the joy when you daydream. Take baby steps in the dark. Every single day physically do something about your dreams. And most important, saunter.”

I posted it on my FaceBook because “saunter” seemed like a good thing to do – my definition:  stroll with attitude.   Which sounded like a good practice since between Mercury going retrograde and the Full Moon I was anything but sauntering around.  More stamping and stomping than sauntering. 

 dreams will come true. Prepare to be amazed. Feel the joy when you daydream. Take baby steps in the dark. Every single day physically do something about your dreams. And most important, saunter.” 

It spiked a discussion in which FB friend Sue noted that she likes sashay better, and of course it sounded even better to me than saunter because my Momma used to say:  “You sashay yourself right over here, Yung’un” when I was maybe going a bit out of my boundaries (not necessarily good as a yung’un but waaaay good at my age).

I think words sort of take on their own meanings with use.  Often those meanings are couched in the story where the word finds itself.  For instance:  I love you can mean:  I want to have sex with you; I want to spend my life with you; you make me feel at my best; I want you to just change this little thing about yourself; I want you to wait on me because I’m needy; I want you to think and feel for me because I can’t, etc.

When I think of “sashay” my story includes a taste of spice, a hint of saucy and a good portion sassy.  Saunter has a story, yes, and it can be a very self-possessed one.  But sashay is a whole ‘nother thing.  It’s quicker, lighter on its feet and absolutely full of itself.

I looked up sashay.  Turns out it refers to chasse, a dance step, which is any 3-part step that is: step, together, step.  Which brought sashay into a whole new light for me.

Step:  movement; together: rest, reflect on that movement; step:  next movement.

It can be forward, backwards, sideways or circular.

As Fabeku would say:   a true case of awesomeness! (or something else that sounds much more boisterously joyful but you get the idea).  Along with a bit of the exotic in the sound  and a whole lotta  “You Go Woman!” in the execution.

I think I must now sashay though life.  I don’t have to move forward (big, bigger, biggest, BIGGER, BIGGEREST as urged by way more than one internet guru these days), I can move sideways or even backwards for a while (wait!  I have to go back and see what just happened…rebuild a bit…rethink a bit), reflect, and then decide on where I want to go next. 

 Everyone take note: that reflection thing?  It’s a PAUSE. 

It’s a rest.  It’s chocolate by the pool for the day; it’s your toes in the ocean for a morning; it’s a good book and a nap in the afternoon; it’s popcorn and a favorite movie in the evening or even tv.  Without guilt or shame.

As I have worked with and without a coach over the past year, I have gotten very clear that I don’t want to make a million dollars.  I have nothing against those who do.  Yay! for them.  May they follow their heart.  My heart doesn’t want that.   And for a bit, my coach telling me I could do what I want AND make a million while I was at it, set me to feeling guilty to not “measuring up” to her standard.  Not mine, hers.  Bad, bad. (to be clear, that “bad, bad” is my not taking responsibility for myself and my own wants. )

( But it did teach me to be very clear in my own coaching practice –  that what I am doing with my clients is walking beside them – not in front leading, and not behind pushing – beside them, helping them clarify and reach their own goals, not my goals for them.  Which is really just building on 20 years of experience working with communities doing the same thing – except one on one is MUCH easier and lots more fun! Definitely the right direction!). 

I don’t have to fill every minute of every day with someting that moves me forward and makes me money.  I can play.  And it’s just fine.  I can even play for more than one day if I want to (since I’m my own boss), and that’s just fine.  This is a very large AHA for me.  Perhaps you already know that, but as a recovering type A, I have never really made that understanding mine, until now.  And I still have to practice it (and probably will for the rest of my life).

In fact, this is such an important AHA that I am going to celebrate my discovery and change my word of the year from extraordinary (too much forward push in that one now) to sashay: an attitude , a perky saunter, a bit of rest, a next movement that fits in with the whole and, Wah-La!  a masterful dance that only I can create! 

Join me!

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

The Universe not only loves you but is also thrilled with you!  Dwell in that abundance.  You’re fine as you are, where you are.  No guilt in waiting until you’re ready for whatever comes next.  No shame in not knowing what comes next.  In fact, celebrate your confusion as the chaotic spiral that will take you where you need to go whether or not you’re exactly clear on how!  Here’s to the amazing, outrageous, diverse, immensely creative, sashayingly imperfect beings that we are – and will always be!    Tammy Vitale