Inside every woman is the wylde child she was both born as and returns to as a crone who has rediscovered her childlike self. The journey in between is called life. There is no dress rehearsal.
Rules for Living Wylde
1. Protect the wild places (inside and out).
2. Clear the rivers. Without water there is no life.
3. Rumble, erupt and spew: recognize that sharp points will dull as new spires rise with a great deal of commotion.
4. Reflect the moon. Do not be afraid of darkness.
5. Honor the creature in you and her needs for life (a safe nest, food, space to roam, a place to play).
6. Acknowledge that healed means having been broken, and that broken can put old things together in marvelous new ways.
7. Name “mis-takes/mis-steps” as stepping stones on your learning path, not stumbling blocks.
8. Welcome movement and transformation and the chaos out of which they arrive as a given to be welcomed as the norm. Understand that some years are quieter/noiser than others.
9. Respect your instincts.
10. Listen to your intuition.
11. Celebrate your divinity daily.
As women, we have learned that the wild places are not safe. In the “real” world where we live, darkness, unknown territory, strange noises, all have connotations of danger. It may be trite but bears repeating to always know where you are, or at least pretend like you know, when you are traversing the material world. We read daily of women who failed to take care and were harmed or killed as a result.
But there is another world, and we take the materials world’s lessons into that world at the risk of losing our way in both places. It is human nature to simplify by extrapolating learned lessons to other experiences that look the same. Looking with only our outer senses can be deceiving because the wild place we are seeking is a different space altogether and different rules apply.
If you were to close your eyes and think of the warmest, safest place you have ever experienced and ever visited or imagined, where would it be? It can be anywhere: earth, air, fire, water, above, beow. This is your wild place. Pay attention to what you are wearing, the smells and sounds around you, what you feel against your skin. Make this place so real that it only takes an in-breath to get there and an out breath to be secure there.
For years my safe space was in the redwood trees. I had never seen one but when I closed my eyes I would be sitting, cross-legged, on the ground among trees in an ancient forest. I was always unclothed (vulnerable). I could never see my face, only my back. I somehow knew my eyes were closed and I was always meditating in this spot.
Looking back, it makes sense that my safe spot would be somewhere literally grounded. Astrologically I figure I have all the other elements covered: fire – sun sign; water – rising and cusp sign; air – the steam combination of fire and water. The choice was made long before I would recognize that connection.
If you have a safe space, eventually it will tell you more than you could originally vision. You can’t vision it all, because you aren’t yet experienced enough to do that. The beauty of the path to/from/between your safe places has so much to share with you if you are willing to pay attention!
When I finally saw the redwoods, I realized how paltry my imagining of them was. And my safe space grew to include the ferns and true immensity of trees you can walk inside of, spread your arms, stand on your tiptoes and not reach the sides. It fed my thoughts of my place in the universe, encouraged me to expand my vision of safe.
It is important to not know where you are going ahead of time. As you grow and change, break and heal, rise up and wear down, so will your wild space. Mundane rules to not apply.
7 Comments
Thanks fellow wild woman. This is a beautiful list.
[…] Rules for living Wylde Tammy Vitale […]
I am blessed beyond measure to have happened upon your site … I feel nourished and empowered the more I read through everything offered.
Isn’t it wonderful to be positive and uplifting to one another — to be a source of faith, comfort, and collaborative strength?
Let the wylding continue to spring forth with joy!
I am blessed beyond measure to have happened upon your site … I feel nourished and empowered the more I read through everything offered.
Isn’t it wonderful to be positive and uplifting to one another — to be a source of faith, comfort, and collaborative strength?
Let the wylding continue to spring forth with joy!
i love your definition of wyldeness and feel it more and more with each passing day. i will pass the award with honor.
[…] Update 2! Now that you’re in the Sisterhood of Wylde Women, why not read my blog, Rules for Being Wylde! […]
Every time I read one of your postings, it seems to directly apply to my life as an artist and woman right now. Thanks so much for this one–Full of courage and tools to stay true to oneself. Love it-and your bold wisdom.