I have a 26 year old son. He’s 6’4" and inside him somewhere is a beautiful person and a heart of gold.
I have just learned that the habit I thought he had kicked he hasn’t. It was heroin, now it’s oxycontin. His girlfriend’s father just called from Florida to say Jay is on the street and he’s putting his daughter in rehab (he hopes). Jay has been telling me he is clean for months now. I will admit that lately some of the stories haven’t made any sense at all. At any rate, now I understand why.
This is what I’m learning. You can have a broken heart. And it can break way more than once over way more than one thing. And it can scar and heal and become more inflexible over the scar tissue or, when it breaks open, it can become something larger and able to contain more love than before. It can become the butterfly escaping from its chrysilis to drink nectar and provide a small piece of beauty for the world.
Wish for my heart the butterfly.
21 Comments
Been there done that for so long I am no longer me! I sink into art to recover the pain and hurt I have been thru. HUGS Joy
I too wish for the butterfly for your heart. I am so sorry to hear about your son Tammy. I hope and pray that he can move from this dark place. much love. E xxx
Sorry to hear about Jay Tammy. They both have so much to offer.
My heart goes out to you. My daughter is married to an addict. We attempted an intervention and she caved in to him. Even after he told her, "I love the drugs more then I love you!" We are continuing to pray for their situation.
Oh Tammy…. *big hug*
I don't know any words to help you through this… but I'm here for you, anytime you need me.
I know life's given you some hard knocks throughout your life… and I see how your heart has healed and grown. You are an AMAZING woman, and I know you won't let the scars harden you.
Dear Tammy,
I wish for the butterfly for your heart (and mine). Thank you for visiting my blog and for your words of support. We are mothers-in-arms. My son is also addicted to opiates and the hold is a powerful one. He lies, steals, and most of all deceives himself. But in the midst of our own maternal pain, we pray, we hope, we forgive, we love, we pray some more … our hearts are the crysalis, being reborn to face the new challenges again and again. I say a prayer for your son too. Much peace & love, JP
Hi Tammy, I'm adding you and your son to my prayer list. Much love and light going out to you both.
My heart goes out to you,Tammy. I have known too many people in the same boat as your son, and I know the pain it causes those who love them. I wish you and your son Peace. Lots of it. Thinking of you, Suze x
Thinking of you both (((big hugs)))
I am so sad to read about your son. Hopefully he will follow the girlfriends' example and he will seek treatment. There are many hands waiting and willing to help him when he is ready.
Take care of yourself!!
oh wow – i just wrote something about my son's addiction problem this morning. i hadn't stopped by to read your blog in a while, as i have had a full week of happenings with my son.
i'll keep your son in prayer. remember, he's not a bad person; he's a sick person.
peace.
Hi Tammy came across your post through writing my own post about my nephew, we've had him staying with us for 4 weeks to get him clean of heroin, so he can start a course of pills that work like betablockers to stop the effect of heroin on the system, but on wednesday he managed to get hold of some and took it, and we found out his deception today.
He's broken my sisters heart and my mothers and now hes broken mine, they say time is a great healer, but friends are whats needed most now and in all of us who read and write post we know theres friends out there we've never met just hoping for us all 🙂
Sending you – and your son – loving, healing light, and wishing you both hearts as light as butterfly wings, free of the weight of this addiction.
Many, many hugs (((Tammy))) and much love being sent your way. XOXO
difficult sometimes to find words…My son is 27 and has had so many problems too…he's so much better now though…time for peace will come for your son and you…sure it will…you must believe it…
i send you all the love I can, and some jasmine flowers from my garden…see you my friend, take care
love from mousie
You have a big heart, so there's no doubt that you'll get the butterfly. I have no experience with addiction of this sort, but like you, I do have a 26 year old son. Bottom line, we never stop being a mother. My grandmother's sister, Aunt Lori, used to always say "when they were little, they stepped on my toes, when they got older, they stepped on my heart". She was a wise woman.
Tammy know you are loved from afar by people you have never met except here in the blogosphere – I am one of them.
Sending you love
Caroline
xxx
Oh Tammy, I've been thinking of you all day. I wish you the butterfly heart, and I'll keep sending you good thoughts…
I don't know which is worse…being the addict, or being the one who loves the addict. I know both sides.
You didn't cause this, and you can't cure it.
Take care, Madame Butterfly. I am near if you need me.
Thinking of you
xoxoxo.
Melba
Good luck to you. Addiction is certainly hard to live with in those we love, isn't it? I, too, felt a certain sense of something like relief, or at least an enhanced understanding, when I found my husband's needles and figured out that all his health problems and all our relationship problems had one clear solution.
Take care of yourself! Your work is beautiful
Tammy, your heart is most certainly the butterfly. I'm sending loads of love and healing to you and your son. If there's anything I can do, if you need someone to vent to, just let me know. xoxoxo