Lianne Raymond has a great post on the dark side of decluttering.
She says: Now, I have nothing against decluttering in and of itself. I just think when anything becomes unquestioned, it’s time to start asking questions. When I started questioning, I noticed something – The Religion of Decluttering is the kissing cousin of The Religion of Thinness. (emphasis mine).
Both have at their core the original sin of too-much-ness. Both have congregations that are filled with a large majority of women (no surprise since the teachings are largely directed at women). Both have their morality tales (Hoarders, Clean Sweep, Biggest Loser). Both have had me as a devoted member.
Bravo Lianne (and thanks to Danielle LaPorte who turned me on to this post: We can use austerity to punish ourselves, and frugality to keep abundance at bay).
I’ve been thinking about this lately – how when something like “decluttering” comes along – everyone jumps on the bandwagon and pretty soon you are feeling guilty about hanging on to those ceramic pitchers that were your Mom’s that you’ve had in a box for 2 years because you don’t have a place to put them out right now. (or maybe that’s just me – except, well, read Lianne about her Mom’s shoes). Even if it clutters up a box or a shelf or your dresser top, there is nothing wrong with keeping something which brings you good memories and comfort. Think twice before it gets tossed or given away.
Do you know the line between interesting new thought and craze? Question: is everyone now blogging, talking, doing [whatever]? You probably have a craze. Another question: did you run that new thought through your own intuitive knowing before you set off into action?
Here’s a Secret: it’s one more way to hook you into believing that your own needs aren’t okay, so you must need someone to help you find the okayness that you seem to have overlooked. Seth Godin names it the merchandising of dissatisfaction.
Wanting something other than what you have is moving from lack. You lack whatever it is that you think you need (be it the latest consumer item or a totally uncluttered living space). Marney Makridakis suggests instead that you move toward what you love. If you move from love you are always moving from abundance. Love creates more love. Abundance.
If you want to be uncluttered and you are living in clutter, before getting the trash barrel make sure you understand why. You acquired for a reason. If you are unconscious of that reason, then, as Lianne notes, unclutter will just be the opposite side of the same coin. It’s the same thing as yo-yo dieting.
Lianne say it well: My invitation to you if you want lasting change is to let go of the declutter mindset – a variation on the diet mindset. Both are just hollow pursuits of something we think will make us happy. Both ask us to embrace a masculine paradigm based in external control. Move to a place of letting go consciously. Be aware of the shadow side. Take the time to reflect and do it from a place of loving creation, not fear. Letting go is part of the conscious creation of the life you want, not a scramble for salvation or perfection. My experience is that when you are living from the place of loving, conscious creation you will naturally and effortlessly begin to let go of that which is no longer serving you – it will be a process, not a project. And you will discover what is worth keeping and what is worth adding to your life in the first place.
Wylde Women’s Wisdom
Overkill through excesses, or excessive behaviors, is acted out by women who are famished for a life that has meaning and makes sense for them. When a woman has gone without her cycles or creative needs for long periods of time, she begins a rampage of – you name it – alcohol, drugs, anger, spirituality, oppression of others, promiscuity, pregnancy, study, creation, control, education, orderliness, body fitness, junk food, to name a few areas of common excess. When women do this, they are compensating for the loss of regular cycles of self-expression, soul-expression, soul satiation. Clarissa Pinkola-Estes [emphasis mine]
4 Comments
Julie – I am so there with you about turning treasures into art that has meaning!
You have done a wonderful job of stating the truth about being true to one’s self.
Thanks for taking the time to stop by and comment!
to listen to one’s own wisdom makes all the difference! we are inundated with hype and fear, yet these tend to bring about frenzied responses rather than deep, meaningful change.
powerfully positive responses don’t come out of fear-based moves – an empowered individual chooses what suits her and her unique needs regardless of whether they happen to be fashionable at the time.
thank you for looking deeply and hearing your own answers amid another round of “you shoulds!” one person’s clutter is another’s “personal treasure” – we decide which is which for ourselves.
i love to turn my treasure into works of art – and these inspire with me a deep, soulful joy. from love – to more love!
thank you, tammy!
Hi Beth
Your response is the reason I wrote the post – I definitely love my “clutter” – my stuff. I rummage
around in it when inspiration beckons and it sparks ideas, helps the energy flow. It does not clog.
In fact, if I didn’t have it, when the notion hits, I’d have to stop, go to the store, spend money on
something that I need just right now, and will save the rest for later anyways. And then miss the
whole energy driven sit right down and do it part!
It is judging ourselves by others’ standards. I think that is rampant these days. I think it’s
time to stop and listen to our own Wylde, unique self and live our one-of-a-kind life. To the hilt!
Thanks for stopping by
Tammy,
This is an astounding post! I live on the cluttered side of the coin, and the pressure is as you say: to move from “lack” and “declutter”. When I think about it all the women I know (and it has always been women in my experience) who are avid and driven de-clutterers are maniacal when they do it; many of them are not happy, and the cycle repeats itself ad infinitum. With myself, I find that most of the time, my “stuff” doesn’t bother ME, it bothers me that it bothers others, and horror of horrors, what others think of me. A little self-consciousness goes a looooong way, and slightly more than a little is wholly detrimental. I am sharing, sharing, sharing this post and doing it because I love it!