Possibilities:  Smile All Day, story picture by Tammy Vitale

Well, I had great intentions for "all day" creativity yesterday.  But I started with something in mind – creating possibilities (ironic) – and then got shy about my ability to be able to do that.  It’s the drawing and writing/printing thing, I think.  Who knows.  At any rate, the words didn’t quite flow as well as they were flowing in twilight sleep.  So I printed some thoughts in different colors of ink (which made me think of Melba at Be Alive Believe Be You – she is my idol when it comes to this and it seems to just flow out of her fingers) and doodled and found I wasn’t loose and I was over intellectualizing and realized that if I am going to do this I am going to have to do it every day until I find that relaxed space where creativity comes on its own (that space that I can hit in about 30 seconds when I’m working with clay). 

I guess I just assumed that it would be easy as working in clay, or with paint, which got me to thinking that maybe I should be working with paint instead of pens – maybe it’s the pens that daunt me.  So this morning, right after I throw out my thoughts here, I’m going to track down my few water color paints and have a painting party, after which I will take some of the possibilities I drafted yesterday and try to freely and creatively get them onto the watercolored pages.  Unfortunately, watercolor is not my strong suit either, and I’m liable to wind up over intellectualizing how to get that color to move out onto the nonwatercolor paper surface of my sketch book.  I can make anything hard – just watch me!

Which is all by way of saying that at the moment I feel like my focus is very fuzzy, which is probably good since I am at the beginning of this new thing I’m trying (well, it’s not totally new, but new for right now).  I realize that I haven’t been giving myself any creative play time – clay is trying to get my stock back up, and I have to pack a few more pieces to send on down to Island Artworks in Ocracoke since I’ve already had the email exchange about that.  So plork (play/work) beckons and I get addled and then I sit and play Luxor 2 (but hey, I’m further along on level 2 than I’ve ever been – does that count for anything?!)

It is difficult for me to compartmentalize:  this is the part-time job time, this is the clay time which is usually also play time.  This is summer time and so extended play with Husband time is available and I don’t want to miss that either.  And this time is for the new doggie so maybe she will stop pooping on my living room floor (and at that moment we will immediately begin tearing up the rug and putting down wood – another project).  And, oh, yes, let’s get the cottage up for sale – now this isn’t hard since we spent all last year putting it together to rent, which never happened because neither of us want to deal with it.  Maybe this isn’t compartmentalizing.  Maybe it’s just overload.

At any rate, this morning I’m back to Possibilities, the potential book.  Maybe I should set up Artist Dates with Heather, who, upon reading yesterday’s post emailed: omg, I’m doing the same thing!  We must be connected somehow! (you’d have to know us – we always seem to be doing the same thing.  We hardly ever get together and are relatively new to each other, yet when we see each other talk is easy and wide ranging and marvelous!).

Meanwhile, I barely have enough space to scrunch my keyboard in on my desk, so at some point that’s going to have to be straightened too, and oh, yeah, that stack of books (from whence "thoughts for the day" have come most recently) is ready to topple over.  Sigh.

BUT! This morning I woke up and remembered to smile, and although it doesn’t necessarily sound like it, I am still smiling and will go on smiling all day! (and that just made my smile bigger, and warmer and realer (realer?) typing that!)

thought for the day:  Take the worthiness that is yours, and let the Fairies of the Universe assist you.  Stop taking so much responsibility upon yourself, and live happily ever after….Just pluck the fruit.  You don’t have to be the one who puts it in the ground any more…Oh, delicious this, delicious this, delicious this, delicious this.  In other words, it’s all right there for you; it’s ready for you to receive it as fast ans as soon as you will vibrationally let it in.  Abraham-Hicks Publications, excerpted from a workshop in Boston, MA on Saturday, May 21, 2005