Ever have those times in your life where you want to believe – really really really REALLY want to believe – that you’re on the right path, at the right place, being the right person, living the way you’re supposed to, but everything going on around you whispers: wrong! failure!
They can last a day or a week or a month (or longer, but hopefully not. It can get pretty bleak).
What if there were signposts along the path to home – to your true self – to what you came here to do?
I think there are.
What I don’t think is that those signposts are the ones we grow up looking for: big house, fancy car, pool, lots of chocolate. (Okay – maybe chocolate is a sign post – but which one?)
See? Sign Posts are slippery things. One person’s arrow home is another person’s bad detour through a dark cave where it seems the light has disappeared forever.
Which is to say Sign Post 1 is not comparing yourself to anyone else. Feeling envy or jealousy or fear that you’ll never measure up to [fill in the blank]? Good sign you’re on the wrong path. You true path is a path no one else anywhere anytime came here to take. So measuring yourself against what you assume someone else is accomplishing is a always a detour you don’t have to take. Instead,look for those pieces of your path that others share, where you find companionship and cooperation instead of lone-wolf competition.
And that is Sign Post 2: you are not alone. Smart woman that you are, you have found or built a community of at least one other person who is there to pull you out of the quicksand when you fall in. And you will fall in. So make sure you know where your help is going to come from, and leave yourself notes so you remember to look for help when you get that sinking feeling.
Sign Post 3: You are up to your nose in quicksand, and the alligators are walking on water. What? You thought being on the right path would be all rose petals and sunhine? Don’t forget to get the petals you have to brave the thorns, and too much sunshine can blind you. A little darkness is invigorating. It’s a sign post that says time to stop, reflect, question, and integrate. It’s a resting space. But you’ll miss it if you keep worrying about the finding the light at the end of the tunnel. Which often leads to mistake the on-coming train for the way out! Which could be a bit of a misread.
Sign Post 4: You’re making mistakes. Even getting flattened by trains now and again (you’ll get it sooner or later and do the resting thing instead). Imperfection rules. Yes – that does mean you’re on the right path, no matter what you think or the world might say. If you’re whizzing along perfectly, then you are probably stuck. Comfortable, smug and very very stuck. Whiz right along for a while, but be sure to pay attention to how long that while is. Whiz too fast and you’re liable to wind up head over heels into the valley of the cycle, arriving with a crash instead of cozying into the valley for a while. Then you’ll have to spend time licking your wounds before you climb to the next mountain top.
Sign Post 5: You have wounds. Some of them big. Some of them so huge you wonder how you’re still alive. These wounds are your angels in disguise. Our greatest wounds bring our greatest gifts..should we choose to accept the assignment. Pass it up? No problem – it’ll be back in another form. The Universe is nothing if not persistant in gifting you ways to come home to your true self. and the angels are happy to help!
Sign Post 6: You get lost. A lot. You are wandering in circles (which is really the Spiral Path, but you’ve forgotten, because you’re lost). You don’t know the next step (see #3 above). You question everything you’ve ever done. Don’t even think about taking a big, Mother-may-I step. Take a baby step. And when you fall down, get back up, laughing, because here you are, the world is waiting, and you CAN. Not only can you get back up, but you want to, because what is calling you is right there beside you holding your hand, whispering, “You Go Woman!” Can you hear it?
Sign Post 7: You’re listening now, more than you’re talking. In the transitions, it’s time to recognize that what has served us well in the past, must grow and change to get us through transition to flight. In the green mush stage you don’t have much of a mouth anyways. It isn’t your turn to talk. It’s your turn to relax. And listen. Leading comes later.
Enjoy the journey!
Wylde Women’s Wisdom
I keep forgetting that failure is not bad (despite what was pounded into us in our school years). It merely shows that we have *tried something new (taken an action), that we now need to review (reflection upon) and tweak (resolution) so that we get clear* about what comes next (action). (Repeat from * to * for the rest of your life). Tammy Vitale
14 Comments
[…] buy? Or leave the world a better place for those who come after because you paid attention to the path only you can follow – that path that makes a stronger fabric of life for everyone now and to come – that path that […]
so understand the REALLY REALLY…hang in there! (and isn’t it nice when things show up
exactly when we need them? Sometimes the angels are nice!)
So glad I took the time to check in today. Great post for my life right now. I needed the reminder to be kind to myself and go with the flow. Tough times are good for us. (I’m going to be REALLY, REALLY) good when this is over. LOL
This is a wonderful post and “JIT” for me, too, as Jill said. I finished a yearlong commitment yesterday that had more than its share of alligators and quicksand. While I accomplished some great things, I made mistakes and was focusing more on the mistakes and picking at the scabby wounds!
My head is up, and I am moving on! The focus is on learning from the alligators’ behavior rather than letting them continue to bring down my spirits. Thanks for again shedding some enlightenment on my life.
Jill: Absolutely unicorns! and buttercups and blue skies. I guess I focus on the darker side because I spend a lot of time there – as you can see, I think the dark side is full of good things once we learn to see in the dark. I spend SO much time there, I have decided that one of my challenges is to “see”
and then “return” to the usual world bearing what I’ve found. AND – absolutely we need
unicorns and buttercups and blue skies too! Which I doubly appreciate after a spell without!
Corinne: thank you! and thanks for taking the time to stop by!
This is wonderful Tammy! Such insights! Thanks so much for being you.
I, too, found this post to be a JIT (Just In Time) post for me… I particularly enjoyed:
Sign Post #2. I feel more connected to many people now than I have in a long time, including when I worked as a corporate facilitator and spent my days surrounded by people. So, that is helpful for me – that the community around me (including our amazing Faculty) are a sign that I’m on the right pat.
Sign Post #3. Alligators – yes, I see them! Quicksand – oh, isn’t that it over there? I have a view that obstacles can be helpful: they can help you to build up resilience and resourcefulness in the face of adversity. But if ALL you have is obstacles, something is “off”. So, knowing that a few alligators and quicksand pits are a sign is helpful. Just so long as there’s kittens, unicorns and sunflower fields as well.
Signpost #5. Yes, I have wounds!! Ha – is that freeing to say or what???!! All those years in Corporate Land taught me to suppress any “inappropriate” feelings, such as “what the *#%$ am i doing???? I’m lost /hurt /disappointed /confused /uncertain /frustrated /etc. Knowing that these wounds are angels in disguise – wow, that’s something I want to think about (and feel about) for a bit longer. It’s revolutionary.
Tammy, much love from me direct to you for such a beautiful post today.
Thanks,, Stacey! #1 is a biggie for me. I’m talking to myself when I write that! Okay – I’ll fess up, I’m always talking to myself when I write these posts! They’re my “notes” for when I get lost. I can look them up and remember I know the way and if I don’t it’s okay. Thanks for stopping by!
Hi Tammy!
This is a REVELATORY post – thanks SO much for it.
There are so many lines where I just want to shout an Amen, Sister! but I will only comment on Signpost #1.
As you know, I don’t have a problem with envy because I have looked at it as a signpost (If I want what they have, why don’t I go after it?), but I LOVE when you say, “Your true path is a path no one else anywhere anytime came here to take.”
Simply amazing, and I don’t think I will ever look at envy again the way I did before.
Thanks again SO much!
We all get there sooner or later. Get out. Walk right back in. Which is hopeful – knowing that,
there’s no reason to fight it. Just a nod and a: oh, yeah. Here’s the quicksand. Where are
my notes…. Thanks for stopping by Emelie!
this is so timely today. i am resisting the overwhelming urge to nap in favor of trying to cram business and personal development into every nook and cranny of my day. What if i miss that one video, what if my website needs more tweaks? what if… ah the list is infinite.
thank you for reaffirming that i am mired in quicksand, making mistakes, and forging my own way. must be heading in the right direction after all!
esp love that you share clients! co-operative work! Yes – absolutely the coming wave of the
future! And with your hands how could massage not be the right path?! hugs!
Ellen: I’m nothing if not a mixer of metaphors. One metaphor simply does not cover all. So if you come up with any – let me know! Thanks for stopping by!
Wow, Tammy – this is so brilliant. Ideas that I have heard before, but never all in one contextual space. Very encouraging and motivating. THANK you! I also loved the metaphor discussion… still chewing on my response! (Which makes me think of even more possible metaphors…)
Lovely post and perfect timing!
In massage there is a tendency to be territorial. But I’ve found a group of men and women who are at ease with their business and feel the freedom to “share” their clients. There’s no need to compare. We know our strengths and weaknesses and feel good about it!
I never fear for money and trust there’s always more out there. It’s so nice to not live entrenched in that fear.
It’s really been a beautiful place to be.
That covers signpost 1&2 and honestly I can find myself in just about every one! It’s good to know I’m on the right track. 🙂