For the past two days I have been working on looking back and then looking forward. That time of year and I have time off the work-for-someone-else job, so why not?
I think of 2014 as a quiet year simply because I pulled everything back inside and hunkered down to gestate. That kind of year.
Looking back I realize that hunkering down meant playing a lot in the studio since I wasn’t try to sell anything. I made BIG things: a 7 ft goddess for the yard (she still needs to be mounted for the yard but she’s finished); my hall bathroom floor – a dream for at least 5 years realized; new front steps so that I could mosaic the risers on them (I’m half way done). Not bad for being quiet!
So I learned that being quiet is okay because it opens up space and lets dreams in.
More of what came in: I went to Patti Digh’s Life is a Verb camp outside of Asheville NC. Just before that hubby and I ran down to the Outer Banks and arrived in the midst of a Nor’Easter – he on the motorcycle because he was coming home as I went off to camp. We couldn’t get in our rented room because of sand and waves so we had to settle for something across the street with only the ocean running a creek in front of it instead of waves. There was a full moon in there somewhere and some magical energy that exploded all around me and has stayed simmering since. At any rate, I’m planning to go to Patti’s Camp this year too. And meet
two dear on-line Goddess friends who live in the area while I’m at it.
My big lesson for 2014 (and is it BIG) is that I don’t have to repeat old patterns that no longer serve. And the Universe, generous soul, is giving me plenty of opportunities to practice that. Suffice it to say I am passing, but it is taking time and focus and persistence! I suppose nothing good and growth oriented is any different. Somehow the idea that I should be able to be really good at something without any practice has lodged itself in my subconscious somewhere. I am rooting that out by practicing imperfection.
For 2015 I plan to finish writing and publish (ebook first and then paperback) my book, Index to Transformation. I’ve discovered, wandering back through 8 years of blogging and 20 years of writing and poetry that the over arching theme is always transformation. I am taking that as a clue that I am supposed to focus on that. So I shall. Another book sitting waiting is Wylde Crone Rising. It’s practically written in my head but I am giving Index first preference because it is written down and somewhat organized. Wylde Crone seems organized until I try to pin it to a piece of paper.
So I have made vision journal pages and lists and thought about what’s next and asked for guidance when I go to sleep at night because morning twilight, when I’m waking, is the best time for intuition and grace to enter.
This morning, this first day of the new year, I woke at 5 a.m. I felt a calling to open my hands, so I did, and this glwy golden light came and settled in them – heavy golden light. I pulled the light into my solar plexus and it filled me up and spilled over so I opened my arms wide to let it flow out. Gold sparkles everywhere. And then came the thought: how will you play this year?
All that work and I didn’t even address play, which seems to have opened the widest door for wonderful new things for me this year (the floor, the steps, Camp, the goddess).
I have my guiding question for the year. Do you? And, by the way, how will YOU play this year?
Happy New Year!