TAMMY VITALE

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Here are pictures of projects made and added to my Garden Goddess yard area.  The projects are finite – they have a beginning and middle and end.  You design the panel, secure the components, mount it (paint the posts, which hasn’t been done yet; find totems to line the fronts of posts which hasn’t been done yet) and, TaDaaaah!!!! The project is fnished!.

The Garden itself, however, isn’t a project.  It is a process.  It is open ended and ever changing, sometimes by my choice, sometimes by unexpected events (deer and small furry animals that sip roots under the ground), and sometimes by Mother Nature.  You will note that about 2/3rds of the process as outlined here has to do with things over which I have no control.  Some days, that “my choice” thing which gives me 1/3 control over the process, seems pretty uncontrollable itself!

All of this got me to thinking how we beat ourselves up for not accomplishing something.  That means we expected an end or completion – thus accomplishment.  Well, I wouldn’t necessarily beat myself up because I didn’t accomplish something I started – at least not now.  I’m an Aries.  It is my nature to start and leave the finishing to those who prefer details to overview.  AND, I have also learned, over the years, that seeing a project to completion, either by myself or enlisting others to help me through my weaker skill sets, is very satisfying. 

The problem comes when one starts treating processes as if they are projects.  We get so wrapped up in SUCCESS SUCCESS SUCCESS we fail to properly identify what we are in the middle of.  Is it a project (okay – there is a beginning, middle and end that are identifiable) or is it a process – open ended, on-going, and only partly in our control, which means we have lessons to learn about doing what we can, and letting go of the rest.

We Americans don’t let go of “all the rest” easily.  Schools teach us that there is one right answer and we will win kudos and scholarships, much praise and possibly very well-paying positions if we give the right answers and tow the line.  Sadly, nowhere in my most excellent (conservative) private education or undergraduate work did anyone suggest that thinking outside a given box was a good thing.  Even my graduate work, done at wild, wooly and way liberal Goddard College in Plainfield Vermont – study that I designed myself and worked with a facilitator to meet requirements – even that only gave me:  trust the process.  Definitely a step in the right direction, but no clear definitions of the differences between project and process that might be applied to my larger life.  The referenced process was the craziness of getting through an unstructured educational system, and trusting the directions you got tugged off to.  Which really wasn’t a process – it was a project.  That ended upon graduation.  No wonder I got confused!

So when you’re measuring yourself in the middle of a dark night, make sure you are comparing apples and apples, not apples and oranges.

1.  The first rule is that you may not make comparisons of yourself against anyone else in this whole wide world.  Because what you see of anyone else’s life is the snapshot – the project -not the process.  The only full arc that you will ever see is your own.  You are incomparable.  There is no one else like you in the whole of the universe: before now, now or ever to be in the future.  You are incarnate to bring gifts and understandings that no one else ever can bring to this earth.

2.  Are you worrying yourself over a project or a process?  Being clear will help you start identifying the disempowering story you are identifying with.

3.  If it is a project, are you at the beginning, middle or end – phases/building blocks of the project?  Each part brings with it its own resistance…the Universe’s way of seeing if you really mean to see this through or if you only want to say you’re trying to make yourself (or worse, someone else) feel good.  Yoda wisdom applies here:  Do or do not.  There is no try.

  • Do you have a clear idea of the all the phases and the steps within the phases to get you from the project’s A to Z?
  • Have you looked for a mentor or teacher or book to fill in any blanks?
  • Do you have a written plan?  If it’s only in your head it is still energy.  You must write it down to make it concrete.  Writing it down will also help you see both gaps and progress and you will have something against which you can set small steps and make adjusments as necessary.
  • Are you willing to ask for help when resistance is winning and you feel stuck?  Here’s a biggie:  there is no shame in asking for help no matter they taught you in school to go it alone.  This suggests  the recommendation that you review your beliefs and see which ones are outmoded and need discarding, and what new ones may be blossoming and need tending to.
  • When you complete a project, do you invite your friends over to celebrate?  Preferably with paper hats and whistles!  Or do you charge into the next thing because time is passing and there are just too many things to do to stop and allow yourself some joy?  Not hard to answer when put that way, but how many of us do celebrate what we accomplish?  How much of what we accomplish do we discount?!

4.  If it is a process, what pieces are in your (small modicum) of control and what pieces aren’t?

  • Do not try to control the environmental two-thirds of the process.  It is a waste of energy and totally crazy-making.
  • If you find yourself repeating steps in the process – the arc that encompasses the projects –  recognize that you need to stop and have a look at the one-third you can control:  your belief system.  It may need adjustment.
  • Allow that you may need to stop and readjust more than once.  This is where paying attention to projects comes in.  Paying attention to moving through a project will teach you that even the best laid beginning to end plans need regular adjustment.  Who you are at the beginning of the project is not who you are at its end.  You have changed, grown, learned.  How much more so in the arc of a process?!
  • A process is made up of projects.  The process will reveal itself to you through the projects.  If it feels like a mystery, it may be because you are not paying attention to the projects you are taking on in your life.  Projects are the small components and baby steps of the process.  Identify the smallest components and the mystery will sparkle clearly and concretely before your eyes.

5.  *Fall down, get up.  Repeat from *.  That works for both project and process.

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground.    Chogyam Trungpa

23 Comments

  • […] over a year ago I blogged about the difference between project and process.  I thought I’d do a small followup here so that you can see the process of my developing […]

  • Oh Emelie – overwhelm can be so hard! Take a breath! or five!

    and hang in there!

    And yet, you still stopped by and chatted. You are a hero!

  • Wow- looks as if I’m not the only one with whom this resonated!

    The piece I LOVE the most is this: “…what you see of anyone else’s life is the snapshot – the project -not the process. The only full arc that you will ever see is your own.”

    It is so easy to get wrapped up in the unending game of comparisons – and forget that all we are seeing is indeed a snapshot!

    Thank you for that timely reminder, and for creating such a helpful lens from which I can navigate the murk of overwhelm.

  • Linda – my family is here on this coast otherwise I’m fairly certain I wouldn’t be here, tho my orientation to the world is that “the big water” is to the east. When I go out west it messes up my sense of where I am! I guess I’m water oriented (that must be the Cancer rising, it certainly isn’t the Aries Sun!)

  • tammy,
    this is brilliant and as i was reading i was having little “aha!” moments… i am going to take your wisdom to heart (again:) and stop thinking of paintings as projects and rather something like growth. and i love your garden of goddesses, so cool. wish you lived here and am surprised you don’t!!
    xox

  • Tammy Vitale

    Agreed. Each to his/her own! And that finish before you start something new thing? NO problem – if the new thing calls I answer! Everything in its own time! (and the art will tell me when its time! One piece took two years because it sat and sat…finally daughter went out and bought me some red paints and said: here Ma. And doggone if that didn’t do it!)

  • You make some good points Tammy. I think the key is to understand our own ways and learn what works best for us – and its also helpful to know that what works for us may not work well for others. For example some people, its not that they are afraid to finish, in fact some find unfinished to be exciting, and they just that they have no need to finish in order to start something new.

  • Tammy Vitale

    with David’s permission, continuing an email chat here:
    David: enjoyed reading your post. I am very goal oriented and always have an end result in mind often before I start a project. I have met many others however, who start projects for the shear joy of creating – they don’t care if they ever finish, often they don’t want to finish the project because once it is closed or sealed or framed in glass, then they are unable to add to it, if new and exciting information comes about. I believe for these people they they like to keep their options open and for them the process is the project and is not defined with an endpoint – That’s what I meant – What do you think?

    Me: That’s an interesting observation. But it sounds commitment phobic to me! My art tells me when it’s done. If I continue, it doesn’t work. Maybe not the ending I had in mind, but with my art I’m used to starting in one direction and having the energy grab it and move on off on its own. When it’s done, I’ve learned what I need to learn from that piece and ready to move on. So it’s hard for me to put myself in the place of someone who won’t “finish” something. I think everything becomes “part” of the process which IMO is the arc of one’s life, and those parts can be telling (for good/bad/indifferent or just for telling since Zen folks don’t like those judement values) about the arc.

    I guess my response would be: what is it one learns from never finishing? I’m an Aries. Finishing is not my strong suit by far, but I’ve learned that pieces and parts need to be completed so I can open the door to something new.

  • Tammy Vitale

    If project is defined as having an end, then how can the project be the process? Sure there
    is the expected (but not anytime soon) end of death. If you define the process has having an
    end, then you expect the last transformation (or, more usually, the next thing you’re striving for) to be the last transformation and you have arrived – right?

  • For some people the process is the project. So much insight – your comment: “Who you are at the beginning of the project is not who you are at its end.” Is something I haven’t considered. Thanks Tammy!

  • Anne

    Learning well throwing – that’s the project. All the messed up and collapsed cylinders (I have to have 6 by Wednesday) – that’s the process. Goddard was an amazing place to learn about process! Process and project – like walking between two worlds at the same time without losing your balance.

  • Tammy Vitale

    Jill – that’s my kind of “writing it down” technique! Thanks for reminding me! I’ve definitely done my share of colorful lists in my life, but not lately. In fact, one might be helpful as I try to listen to a story I’m supposed to write – so I really appreciate your input!

  • Tammy Vitale

    Sloane: Oh goodness save us from just doing one thing! Some of us are meant to scatter seeds and see what blooms (i.e., we get bored doing the same thing over and over again). But the part about needing something that makes your heart sing – sounds like something might be calling. Listen
    hard! And that make a living thing – I’m still trying to figure out how to keep the spirit/follow
    my heart part happy while taking care of the part of me that likes a house and regular meals!

    Hang in there!

  • Love this! I come from a project management background (worked on large IT projects all around the world) and so “project thinking” is something I’m very familiar with and can do very easily.

    “Process thinking” – well that’s something I have had to learn! I’m an Aries as well but I enjoy the details and get great satisfaction when something is completed.

    I got a lesson in this just last week when we had a review done of our webiste + (as serendipity would have it) received some feedback from someone about our Home page. I kinda sorta maybe knew that one’s website is a PROCESS — it is a constantly changing entity in a constantly changing landscape (the WWW)… After going through a minor roller-coaster of emotions about the feedback and what it all might mean, I have finally started to get it into my head that perhaps the website will NEVER be “finished”. This might help me to recognise and enjoy the things I love about it at any one time, and not to be surprised when it needs tweaking regularly.

    I wanted to add something to your point about writing things down. I agree with this! When I see words like “write it down” it often conjures up a boring list. I use coloured pens and often will graphically display my notes — not so much mindmap them (that’s a different visual process)… but use the entire page to display the various elements of my project (or process) in a way that results in an attractive page when I’m finished. So that’s how I use the “write it down” advice – and keep it interesting for me.

    Thanks Tammy – loved this post!

  • I am a process kind of girl. I feel bad sometimes b/c I don’t know what an outcome should be..the big one in my life is what do I want to do to earn a living…I know I’m 40 and have a “good” job, but my soul needs to sing…anyways to combat that frustration I am always in the process of learning new things…whether it be swimming, rollerskating, growing things, or building a bottle wall…I don’t know if I am making any sense..Sometimes I wonder if I am meant to continue to learn and evolve….there may never be one correct thing I need to be doing…because I am always doing it.

  • Tammy Vitale

    Stacey – when the thought first occurred to me (literally about 3 weeks ago) it was like a light
    bulb coming on!

  • This is such a great post, Tammy!

    It’s funny, I really haven’t ever thought about distinguishing between a project and a process. I thought I was ahead of the game because I’ve learned how to define a project by the tasks needed to accomplish it (when that used to be quite challenging for me).

    But now, after reading your post, I completely get how important it is to make the distinction between a project and a process!

    If I get frustrated or feel unaccomplished because I haven’t achieved whatever it is I set out to do, I now have a new lens for looking at the problem.

    Thanks so much, Tammy!

  • Tammy Vitale

    Thanks Baye – I emailed you the process. Hope it helps!

  • The amazing part of this is that as I read it, I realized it applied to everything from the most mundane house stuff to the life directing projects. It is something I need to share with my 20 somethings who are in college/grad school.

    I’ve not seen your outdoor “projects” before. Is there another post about design and materials used? I’d love to try something like this.

  • Tammy Vitale

    Thanks for dropping by and leaving the comment Andrea!

    The difference just occurred to me about 2 weeks ago and I jotted it down to write about.

    When I write about things, it helps me clarify them in my own mind – and also remember!

  • I love it! I am in the process of opening a space in my life for more meandering with my writing and art work. It feels like a creativity process. Love the distinction! Thanks

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