Some days feel like my life is on hold pending approval.  Sometimes it’s from some outside source but more often than not it’s me withholding approval from myself.

Every wonder why we do that?  What it is we are trying to measure up to and aren’t quite making it?  Ever write any of that down? 

I ask because if you don’t write it down – make application to believe in yourself, so to speak – you will always be pending approval because you haven’t even really looked at what you want approved.  If you don’t speak it out, others may be blissfully unaware that you are in suspended animation and need a shoulder or an ear while you work it out, out loud.  Until you write it or say it out loud, you may not know what it is you truly want.

Some people calling this stuck, some say it is listening to negative head talk, some call it pouting.

Here are some strategies to move ahead:

1.  Whatever you call it, you need to take some step toward understanding where you are.  Reach out to a friend (on-the-ground or in cyberspace). 

My cyber friend Sue O’Kieffe (creator of amazing mandalas) sent me these wise words last week when I was pouting (ie:  a stamping feet, insisting that I’ve done everything right and it STILL isn’t working, general “don’t you dare try to cheer me up” and “all that be chirpy and it will come is baloney” kind of day):

Last year I identified an inner voice that is very mean. I indentified it as my inner bully. It comes up when Im feeling insecure and uncertain, and I do find it very hard to quiet. Usually they have something to share. Usually they come up when I am feeling vulnerable. My wisdom tells me to have a dialogue with the voices to find out what they are scared of, but usually I just charge my way through them and do what Im trying to do. My wise voice would tell me to be quiet.

See the results of moving through her challenge in this great interview with reiki master Pamir Kiciman here. 

2.  My coach, Christine Kane, suggests baby steps: Your project, your dream, or your goal is your baby. If we all gave up on our kids as much as we give up on ourselves, then we’d have a race of humans with big calluses on their knees!  (read more here) (Christine is offering a free teleseminar on June 2 – see her latest free video on upleveling your life here.)

3.  Danielle LaPorte says “Just Stop.” Look back on this year and get very clear about what sucked. What didn’t work, got mired with resentment, felt onerous, weighed you deadly down? A note on resentment: you can’t continue to do things you fully resent and think they’re going to transform into enjoyable activities over time. It just doesn’t work that way. Think of resentment as a blaring, mega-watt STOP sign. And stop.

She is offering (today May 25 only) a pay-what-you-can day (to celebrate her birthday) for her Fire Starter series.  Here.

All this is by the way of saying it’s been a rough week or two.  This is not a statement to give myself permission to keep pouting.  No – I’ve learned that refocusing through journaling will get me through that (much quicker than the year and a half I spent 2008-2009). 

I’m sharing with you because I know you have those days too.  And I want you to be gentle with yourself for being human and imperfect.  And I want you to make a space for yourself to love your journey with all it’s bumps and glories.  And when you’re stamping your feet and shaking your fists at whatever you stamp your feet and shake your fists at, I want you to remember to reach out.  Leave me a note – I’ll write you quickly back!  Because we get what we give and I want and need all the support I can get!

Wylde Women’s Wisdom:

It always helps me overcome overwhelm when I have a good plan that reveals my priorities.  Big abstract ideas are broken down into manageable action steps on a business roadmap. [note:  see Seth, there are maps].  Suddenly it all seems to make sense.  something magical happens when a plan is on paper.  Written words seem official and carry a lot more weight than those floating around in our heads. Alyson Stanfield