It’s one of those mornings. I’ve been off reading other’s blogs about Finding Water and thought, "OK, I’ll pick it up and do a Divining Rod this morning since I haven’t done any reading and the DRs are usually helpful." Can’t find the book anywhere. Haven’t looked for it for weeks and now it is in hiding. While looking for Finding Water, find Walking in the World (also by Julia Cameron). I shelved it. Went to the dining room. No book. Made hot water for what passes for coffee for me these days (caffeine free herbal coffee. Interesting. Better than nothing). Came back. Sat down to write. Realize I have no new photos of work because I haven’t been making anything. Instead I’ve gotten reattached to a silly computer video game that is totally mindless. One day of mindless is nice. Several is too much. Pulled Walking in the World back out. This is a much underlined, notated, highlighted book. Browsed through it and loved everything underlined, notated and highlighted all over again.
Thinks are shifting. Right now the rising sun is straight in my face through the window behind my computer. This only happens at certain times of the year. During the winter it rises more to the right of where it is now. Or maybe I’m typing in the dark more often during the winter(days are getting longer). Something is incubating – I know this feeling – ready to be birthed. I have no idea what it is.
Yesterday I had an endoscopy around all the acid reflux problems I’ve been having. Two months ago an xray showed esophageal (sp?) erosion. Yesterday there was none. Although now there is a (an?) Hiatal Hernia showing up. This is good news (no erosion) although the symptoms of reflux have not stopped. Prescription medicine is $183 and change (apparently you have to have special okay from the insurance company, so we left the prescription at the store and will wait for them to get clearance. If not, I guess I’ll stay with Prilosec for a while longer). I can manage this without the prescription. I am told, finally, that I will not have to take anything forever, it will get better. Of course in the meantime I’m relearning how to eat. I take this as a reminder from my body that if I don’t take care of it, I will be hearing from it loud and clear. I think I’ve gotten the message (hence no coffee or decaf – only caffeine free. Also no oil or fat. Or tomato sauce. Or oranges or pineapples. Or garlic or onions. Or spice. Or pepper. Or eating more than about 1.5 cups of anything at a time. Or eating closer than 3 hours before bedtime. Like I said: things are shifting). Would I listen to my body if there were no pain? Apparently not as I haven’t in the past. I’m being taught to not run myself up against the wall and pain before I stop and pay attention.
So this is a rather random post. I had no idea where it was going when I started and no new ideas have percolated. Instead, I will share with you some of my underlines from this Julia Cameron book that does speak to me.
"One of the reasons artists need to talk to and hear from other artists is that the press is not a trustworthy mechanism for relaying information about the creative life."
This makes me think of ArtOMatic – how the real reason is to build community, not be lambasted by Washington Post critics (who, the word is, last time didn’t bother coming by – just sent someone for photos and reviewed all 800 participants thusly. Right. I have been thinking about critics lately, and the art schools who turn them out. Not to dwell, but I guess everyone has to have a some kind of job. Which got me off onto thinking about power and perceived power and how ArtOMatic keeps on keeping on taking back its power, the critics be damned. And often they are. Vociferously). Which is all by way of saying I don’t need Finding Water and Julia Cameron’s obvious depression while writing it to drag me down right now.
Back to Walking in the World.
"An artist in the midst of making a large creative jump – a concert tour, a book signing, a one-person show ) is a vulnerable and sometimes volatile creature [great alliteration]…We must find people who can see our vulnerability in such passages and neither encourage it to become terror nor discount it…Consciously or not, the withholding of approval and appreciation is a powerful manipulation that moves us off our personal perspective and into pleasing others…All of us need a private cheering section when we undergo a public creative jump…Artists are not fragile, but we are delicate. We are subject to the weather conditions in our life…."
thought for the day: It could be argued that creativity is a form of prayer, a form of thankfulness and recognition of all we have to be thankful for, walking in this world. [Amen} Julia Cameron, Walking in this World