Last night I woke at 1 a.m. At 2:30 I decided to reach for the book I’m reading, Traveling Mercies, by Anne Lamott. Husband came in (early for him) around 3:00 and fell asleep reading his book after maybe 5 seconds. I was still awake. So I turned my light off and wandered into the bathroom and sat on the floor to read more, hoping to get sleepy.
My A Student self is bent on solving the problems of the world and setting up a structure at my new part-time position in 2 hours. Maybe 3. Of course this is impossible (especially since I’ve been on the job for 3 weeks, so the deadline has long passed). So she wakes me up making lists and thinking through processes in the middle of the night.
I do not do well on less than 8 hours sleep. Consequently I view A Student’s current craze as unsettling.
If one must be unsettled, Anne Lamott is a good companion. She makes the crazies seem quite normal.
Around 3:30 a.m. I finished a chapter and came upon: "Part Six. FAMBLY. The heart that/breaks open can/contain the/whole universe. " Joanna Macy
I thought "Fambly" was our word. It is a word we, husband/daughter/son/I ("I" doesn’t look right, but it is, grammatically speaking) coined early on as we melded ourselves into a unit of 1. That word in black on white in front of me brought back hikes and camping, day trips and kids under the sound board with pillows at a gig, and, well, a lot of pretty wonderful memories. And the poem invoked my butterfly heart. So I decided to try to sleep.
But of course at that point my head started composing today’s post – and it was pretty magnificent, as are all my in the middle of the night ideas – but I did not get up and write it down and now it is lost. So this one will have to do.
Let me just say that it is good to have all of you on my side. Especially now and for reasons beyond my son. Life is a bit bumpy; were the hamster not bound and gagged over in the corner of my mind – a fate soon to happen to A Student if she doesn’t watch herself – I would be a wreck. As it is, I’m only slightly off balance (hence, I’m sure, the reason for vertigo raising it’s head…not bad, just enough to let me know it’s there when I lay down to sleep). So I’m going to say "thank-you" again to all of you who have and continue to throw me a life-line, to be there. As Anne says: "…all you can do is to show up for someone in crisis, which seems so inadequate. But then when you do, it can radically change everything. Your there-ness.."
Sold another small piece, a Dream plaque, at ArtOMatic. And hear from Transient Crafters that a torso sold. All very good news, and encouraging as I’m spending a lot of time mentally signaling folks to come get the work I made for them (whether or not they knew it before) so I have room to make more. Intent. I am happy to report that it seems to be working.
Alicia/Alyson/Alice is drying and today or tomorrow I will do a kiln load. I want to make a face for her too. That would have to happen today if I want to fire tomorrow. Her name may actually be "Finding My Way Home." Obviously we are not at a point where she is ready to whisper her real name. Some concentrated finishing work may first need to be done.
Today’s ArtOMatic offerings are by Alison Christ, Motherboard, above right, and El Mariachi here on the left. Of course you know I am drawn to these because putting tile on a guitar is just so imaginative and something I would never have thought of, and because Motherboard is an absolutely beautiful piece of wall art. And that’s all I can tell you because I have neither card nor listing in ArtOMatic’s catalog to give you anything further.
Here’s another with no catalog info that I can find but gorgeous work – in clay, mostly, with found objects, like bones. Dark, but the dark of the Dark Goddess, not the dark of the lost. I didn’t take good notes – or actually I took too many pictures of her work and cannot now sort out what notes I took – so I will just present the work of Serenity Knight for your to enjoy, and apologize to her should she happen upon this blog, for not properly listing the names. Enjoy!
thought for the day: …this man worked for the Dalai Lama. And he said – gently – that they believe when a lot of things start going wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born – and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible. I believe this to be true. And I especially believe it when other people’s things are breaking down. When it’s my stuff, I believe the direct cause is my bad character.
Anne Lamott, Traveling Mercies