My experience is that all the well-known coaches out there say: know your what and your why, and the how will take care of itself.
Every single one of them.
Well, my how has never taken care of itself. I have never been able to figure out how it is that I can follow my passion and have a roof over my head and food to eat. Because it has always seemed like one or the other, and a struggle. A real hard struggle. Which led to beating my Self up because I wasn’t getting the HOW even though I pretty much had the what and the why all sewn up.
What’s up with that? And am I the only one? (No, because if I’m asking this question, I know that others are too).
A couple of things are up with that:
1. The what and the why have a tendency to change as you grow.
2. If the how is to take care of itself, it has to be something that transcends the what and the why – a base foundation if you will.
3. At least that’s what I’m saying here because it works well with my thesis. This is a working thesis – please feel free to poke holes in it and I will go back to the drawing board and invite you over to brainstorm with me.
Before get back to the how, let me back up and make sure we are on the same definition of the what and the why.
What: clarity about what it is you are offering, the client you are offering it to, age/marriage status/kid status/job status/hangout favorites/disposable income status/etc (i.e. the demographics) of that client, and the reason they should buy your service/product instead of someone else’s. Yes – there is a lot of work getting to that. But we aren’t going to talk about that. We’re on to the how. Right after the why.
Why: when you speak of why you are doing what you’re doing the word “passion” should come up. Frequently. And it should have a “hell YES!!”-I’m-doing-this-because-I can’t-not quality to it. If it doesn’t then you still have some work to do on the what.
Now to the how.
I don’t know that I’ve read this anywhere before because, as I said, everyone in the great out there is suggesting that the how just works out. Just like that. No effort. It just lays itself down in front of you and pants to put that million dollars right into your bank account and/or deliver the perfect partner to your front door (if you don’t already have one of course).
It’s like each of those coaches is keeping the one final really important ingredient from the mix….just so you don’t catch up with them. Okay, perhaps that’s a bit of paranoia.
So, you know what? I think they have it backwards. (And I haven’t always thought that.)
I think if you know the how, then the what and the why do indeed lay themselves down in front of you panting to deliver the world to your door.
Here’s what the how is: a daily practice that takes you into your core self where you have every thing you need.
I can hear it now: all those smacked foreheads. Been there: ” What? Yet another “practice” to put on my todo list? When am I supposed to sleep?”
Secret: If you do a daily practice, time opens up. How? Because you more easily see the next step that needs doing and three others you were thinking about simply fall away. They have no heat, no passion and moving from a daily practice of focus shows that up quicker than “snap.”
So why aren’t all the millionaires out there sharing that with you? Maybe they don’t know it. Maybe they do and they’re afraid you’ll think it’s too “woowoo” and so they stick to tried and true business practice whats and whys (all that dry stuff that sends creatives screaming out the door. Creative broadly defined as anything we’re doing passionately).
So I’m going to suggest that in addition to, and maybe even before, you figure out what/clarity and why/passion you seek out how/daily practice.
It’s hard to find a practice that works. It has taken me 4 years and a lot of dead-end paths to find mine. And of course now that I have it in hand, it seems as if I should have had it all along.
That’s the tricky part: the hard part of how is persistence. Those last three items on the 10 Ways to Lead a Hell Yes!! Life. And I wrote that before I even consciously knew about daily practice!
Daily practice hooks you into your subconscious where all magic lives. It opens you to see and hear and find things that you might have ignored before. It’s like the Wizard of Oz folks: in the end they discovered that what they thought they needed, they had all along. You already have the Ruby Slippers – but you can’t use them until you can see their power.
This is a really hard concept to convey, and I may not be doing a good job of it. So I will leave you with what I am now doing that has created enough space in my life to reclaim my ART (not my product production), and my passion (making a safe space for women to step into their own, individual, divinely-sparked power).
- Five days a week I participate in a community of Collaborative Manifestation. Seven days a week I participate in Patti Digh’s 137 Days Project (that will be ending soon). Almost daily, but more sporadically, I work with two friends I found through another community on a private Facebook page where we share ideas, brainstorm and cheer each other on.
- Every morning in twilight waking up, I breathe a prayer of gratitude for something no matter how small. Often lots of somethings big and small. Every night, I snuggle into my comforter and add more gratitude – usually for a warm bed, a full tummy and clarity about my life and where it’s going.
- I am holding retreats twice a year now because that forces me to “retreat” too and take a breather from regular life (Next one: April 6, 7, 8, Westmoreland Park, VA). You have to get out of the normal, even if it’s a walk in the forest on the next lot, or on a beach or down the street to the big old oak tree. You have to go somewhere where something will take you out of yourself and make you say “Wow. Why don’t I do this more often?”
- And lately since all this has come together, I flow in Joy. Things that in the past would have thrown me into the deep darks have no effect. The minute I feel the dip coming I breathe in and go to the place of practice. This is daily practice. I am never going to reach perfection (humans aren’t allowed) but I am walking in trust that *everything* works for my highest good as long as I make room to practice so that I can hear my Self speak. And it does: loud and clear.
I think this deserves more discussion – I hope you’ll leave your thoughts and let’s see if we can get this whole thing into some kind of self-help practice-able format!
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