Yes – actually rejoice.  No – I’m not a mascochist.

A few scenarios:

1.  You’re in your art booth with your wares nicely displayed.  Ten folks come through who love it, chat for a bit, some buy.  Then in comes the one who looks around, sniffs and says:  You want *how much* for that?  That’s ridiculous!  Admittedly that can be hard to take:  your babies out there and someone is rejecting them.  It doesn’t matter if it’s sculpture, or paintings or jewlery or silk scarves or a book. 

Here’s the trick.

That person has just freed you to go back to the next ten who will love your work.

My favorite response? “Well, my work isn’t for everyone.”

And it isn’t.  While I believe I am a conduit for energy that wants expression, I also know that as a conduit I will imprint some of my own energy on the creation.  I no more expect everyone to love my work than I expect everyone to love me!

Because that is an unrealistic expectation.  So get real.  Thank them for stopping by and move on to those who can’t wait to see what you’ve got to offer today.  Get those folks on your show list (and possible your email and newsletter and class lists) because they are the 20%* who are going to keep coming back.  And those are the folks you want to pay attention to and create for and work with.

2.  I don’t know if it’s worse or better  on-line.

You offer freebies to get folks to sign up on your list.  You know, THE list.  The one you really must have if you want to earn a living on line.  Or at least an income.

Your offer says:  ‘bonus!  along with [freebie] you get my bi-weekly newsletter!

So the newsletter goes out and the unsubscribes come in.

This is great!  You aren’t paying your autoresponder to maintain the emails of folks who are NEVER going to  buy your stuff!  They only wanted the free stuff.  And that’s okay because (thank you autoresponder) after the initial setup, it requires no more work from you.    And you just never know when your energy will infiltrate and they’ll come back for more.  And you don’t have to worry about it.  They know where to find you.  Or not.  It doesn’t matter!  Because the rest of your list LOVES you, and emails you and tells you all sorts of amazing stories about how what you’re doing makes their life better.

3.  You do a survey (this is a true story) and offer to publish the results of the survey to folks who respond.  So you set the survey up to collect the emails of those who opt in  (this is important, they do NOT have to opt in) to receiving the results.  When you send the results out, you also offer the program (not free) that you create as a result of the responses.  And you have two “friends” jump on you for daring to send them a sales pitch.  Why be grateful here?  Because they weren’t friends, they were acquaintances and now you know where and where not to spend your precious time out of the studio socializing.

4.  The Gallery/Show/Fair/etc turns you down.  Good news!  These folks know (or should) their demographics (and, often, their internal clique) and you don’t fit.  So you’ve just saved yourself, booth/travel/food/overnight costs that are not going to be met by your sales.  Now you can move on to those Galleries/Shows/Fairs/etc that will work for you! (Need a hand in figuring out how to sort out the good ones for you?  Check out module 5 of Sell Your Art Keep Your Soul.  Yes, that’s a sales pitch.)

Here’s the thing.  We’ve learned to equate rejection with failure.  And we have all been programmed in school and by our parents and by the community in which we swim that failure is unacceptable. 

What if I tell you all that programming is wrong?  That rejection moves you forward to finding your Tribe and failure shows you that you are awake and trying new things.  In fact, not failing is a true sign that you are waaaaay too comfortable with where you are and that you’re playing it safe.  (I won’t get on my soap box about traditional schooling and how it squashes the living imagination and freedom to play out of every one of us).

Or we take it personally – that rejection means we aren’t loveable.  Get over that or get out of the business world.  You are fine just the way you are.  How much you sell or don’t sell has nothing to do with whether or not you are loveable.  And that’s a whole ‘nother post, not this one.

So join me!  Rejoice at rejection!  Celebrate your 20%!   and never ever let the turkeys get your down!

*80% of effects (sales in this case) come from 20% of causes (buyers in this case).  It’s even got a fancy name:  The Pareto Effect

Wylde Women’s Wisdom

I respectfully do not care.  Martha Beck

Your opinion is none of my business.  Sue Mitchell

You confuse me with someone who gives a shit.  Joy Rothke

And you’re telling me this because????     Jessie Vitale

(all but Jessie’s response from a thread replying to Martha Beck’s comment on my FaceBook.  Jessie’s is now a part of family lore)